Clearly, coping with impotence is not on anyone's top ten list of new things to learn in their years after 50.
OK. Understood, but here it is. What are you going to do now?
A good next step after you've explored all the options with your doctor is to examine your thinking, your beliefs, your assumptions relating to the problem.
Whether you are the one with the physical problem or you are the partner of a guy with it, recognize that you are coping with impotence in one way or another.
Whether what you are doing is
getting you more or less of what you want is for you to decide.
If the situation is not moving in a good direction for you, it is worth the effort to delve into your own thoughts and feelings first. This is the time to dig in and bring your worst fears, judgements, and beliefs out into the light of day where you can deal with them. For some discussion of the rationale and ways of doing this, you might like to take a look at this page on cognitive behavioral psychology.
Deep down what to you think/believe/assume about
Catch whatever crosses your mind. This is no time to be "politically correct" or deny thoughts that you know you "shouldn't have" or are inaccurate. It's time to dig deep and come up with what's really in there. After all, this is the store of information that your conscious mind consults when evaluating a situation and deciding what to do.
Applying some of tools available from cognitive behavioral psychology, you can build your own mental/emotional plan for coping with impotence. Use some version of the following:
P.S. This is one of those areas of life in which the often mis-quoted line from the Chicago sportswriter of the 1930's, Grantland Rice is a guiding light. He wrote
"When you meet that great scorekeeper in the sky, he will ask you not if you won or lost, but how you played the game."
Who knows why any one of us draws the cards we do? Once they are in our hand though, the whole questions becomes how we are going to play them.
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