Sexting, exchanging sexually explicit text messages with a partner, is a great way to enjoy and deepen intimate relating when physically separated . . . when you do it right.
It's also a great way to get yourself in all kinds of trouble when you're too impulsive or casual about how you use it.
Cellphones do get misplaced and others may innocently pick the phone up to look at the contents trying to figure out whose it is. If they come across racy messages or pictures, their exploration may become less innocent and potentially embarrassing for you. Delete photos and message threads after each session.
It's also very easy to send a text message to the wrong person. You might consider using a different messaging app from your regular one just for these most personal messages.
And, of course, if you don't already have a relationship with the person on the other end before you start texting, take the time to get to know them.
The key point for effective sexting that it is an exchange, a relationship in a specialized medium.
While the Urban Dictionary has described it saying . . . "Essentially, it's like trying to watch pornography on a dial-up internet connection", it definitely has its positive attributes as well. Understanding the strengths and potential pitfalls of this kind of communication is vital to using it effectively.
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While you DO have to provide an e-mail address to get this texting guide, it is quite good and there is no charge. However, note that throughout it refers to "your wife". It could just as easily have been "your lover", "your crush", "your husband", or anyone else you want to relate with this way.
Let the inherent pacing of the medium work for you.
The short message format forces you to take "baby steps", to go slow, and to get confirmation before going on.
Pick the time of day. Avoid times during which you know the other person is likely to be busy. You want them to be happy to get your message, not annoyed. Late evening is often a good bet depending on the other person.
Start short and general. A "Hi. Thinking of you" kind of message. This gives the other person a chance to tell you if they are free and interested now.
Keep each message short. This fosters the back and forth giving the emotional connection time to build while at the same time keeping it alive. Long messages tend to make the exchange laborious and boring both in waiting for the next message to come and reading it on the small screen.
Choose the content of your messages carefully
Don't just flirt. Be interested in their daily life.
Do flirt when it fits. Get naughty slowly, but stay vague until you get a sense of what the other person is wanting now.
Use emoticons . . . unless the other person hates them.
Push intimate edges now & then. "Just
stepped out of the shower" or "Happy to be home and out of my work
clothes". Inviting them to think of you in those settings.
Use memories or create memories. Refer to favorite songs, movies, places, or situations, which can focus both of you on the same things and feelings.
Get warm & soft before saying good bye.
Text messaging provides a positive opportunity for senior couples to enhance how they express and enjoy their sexuality.
Don't let headlines about people using it to do inappropriate, stupid things put you off.
The texting capacity of the cell phone is one of the best things technology has brought to couples. Use it.