Internet Infidelity
Over 50

Internet infidelity is dangerous because you can start out innocently enough and end up with trouble.   It tends to move in a gradual, subtle way that you probably don't notice as being as dangerous or dividing as it can be until it is too late.

Most often it doesn't look or feel like infidelity.  After all,  there is no real person on the other end . . .  initially at least, or maybe even never.

An Internet Search Out of Curiosity Can Turn Into Internet Infidelity More Easily Than You'd Guess 

It can start as an effort to fulfill some desires that aren't being addressed in your primary intimate relationship.  It appears to be a way to do that without taking the risks involved in having an affair.  If it stopped there, it might turn out well enough.

Since it appears to be anonymous, it can seem to be the perfect place to look into sexual practices that here-to-fore were relegated to the "no-one-but-me-could-possibly-be-turned-on-by-that" category.

The Online World Can Look Like A Perfect Solution

Type in the right search questions and all of a sudden you have access to a whole world of people, millions and millions or people, where if even a tiny fraction of them are interested in what you are, there are too many for you to even talk to all of them.

By your own internal logic there can be very good reasons to turn to the internet.

  • You are curious.
  • You can be anonymous.
  • You don't have to hurt anyone you love.
  • You don't have to engage in risky behaviors.
  • You have too much to lose to do this in real life: family, kids, grandkids, house, money, security.

Within your own psyche these can all be very "good reasons" to do it and to not see it as cheating. The reasons hang together in terms of your own wants, needs, beliefs, and abilities. "There has to be sex for there to be an affair." "There has to be a real emotional attachment for there to be infidelity." The problem is that while each of us works from within a personal, internal reality, we also function in a world of multiple perspectives, needs, wants, and beliefs.

But, There Are Downside Risks To Consider

Problems with the online solution include

  • The perceived web anonymity is largely false. Look at this link on IP Addresses or just type IP Address into a search engine and see what you get.
  • It's taking time and attention that could be better invested in your relationships. Not only that, it takes time and attention to clean your tracks and not get caught.
  • When you share emotional experiences with another person, you are likely to find yourself wanting more.
  • Secrets damage relationships and this can become a big secret.

Internet infidelity is another tricky version of the risky business of going outside your primary relationship to fulfill your wants and needs. It may start for apparently good and caring reasons, but it often lays the groundwork for disaster ahead.

Return from Internet Infidelity Over 50 to Infidelity.

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