Emotional Infidelity Signs
Use Them To Stay Out Of Trouble

Watching for emotional infidelity signs, both in yourself and in others, is vital to keeping your relationship on track and out of needless trouble.

Realize that this is a "slippery-slidey-slope" that is very easy to step onto, embarrassing to admit that you are on, and hard to get off of. It usually starts out as innocently as friendship, collegiality, mentoring, or being helpful, though sometimes those involved are better described as "terminally dumb." In any event, you can find that you're into more than you bargained for very quickly.

Keep an eye out for signs in yourself.

The kinds of things that can tell you are heading for trouble are quite commonsensical really.

You had better take a careful look at your feelings and actions with respect to a person other than your partner if you find yourself

  • hoping to see them at an event, gathering, or meeting more than you do most people,
  • telling them about problems with your partner,
  • talking to them about a personal problem before talking to your partner about it
  • behaving differently when they are around than when they aren't, perhaps more "up", or smiling, or trying to be funny
  • standing closer to them than usual when you talk, touching them when you talk
  • wanting to talk about them with friends a lot or, the flip side, never mentioning them, keeping the way you feel about them a secret
  • daydreaming about them
  • and perhaps the biggest of emotional infidelity signs -- you would not be completely comfortable telling your partner about everything that goes on between you and them and how you feel about it. Another way to think about this one is to ask yourself if you would want to watch a video of yourself interacting with this person with your partner? If not, think carefully about what you're doing!

Looking For Signs In Your Partner

So much for self awareness. What if you are looking to apply these emotional infidelity signs to your partner?

Be careful.

Notice how many of the warning criteria described above you can only infer from your partner's behavior and words.

Only you know how effective it is likely to be for you to be able to communicate concerns to your partner and get a positive reaction. Remember that seeing these kinds of things in others is easier than in yourself and very often they don't even realize what they're into.

That's the danger of the whole situation.

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