Choosing conscious relationships now that we are over 50 offers unparalleled opportunities for deep self-understanding, self-acceptance, and growth through deeper, stronger relationship.
One simple, effective way to do this is to engage in some form of mindfulness practice. Ram Dass talks about this in his book on the experience of aging, Still Here. Obviously taking off from his earlier Be Here Now.
Another option with some direct references to conscious relationships is the complete and easy to follow approach that Michael Brown lays out in his book, The Presence Process. Instead of be here now he says be present. OK, I think it is pretty much the same thing.
Another similar approach to this issue of the power of actually being aware of what is going on right now again with direct reference to conscious relationships can be found in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Mindfulness. And yet another approach to the same thing comes from Dr. Ellen Langer, a psychology professor at Harvard, takes a somewhat less Eastern sounding approach. Her book on the topic is
Fortunately, with this
variety of specific pathways available, one has a chance to choose.
They all work well for the right people. Finding a good match of what
makes sense to you and seems to be something that you can really do over an extended period is vital. Take the time to find the one that feels right to you, then stick with it.
When we choose to make our relationships conscious, seeing them as an interactions in which the most important pieces are occurring inside of us, then we retain our own power. Not that this always feels good or is easy, but it does consistently return us to being able to choose what we will make of what is presented to us.
Learning a bit about the psychology of relationships can be a great help in this.
In the early stages of a conscious relationship over 50 or at any age, whether it is with a new baby, new friend, business associate, or new lover, the positive feelings are almost completely from within us. The other person is just a mirror or a screen onto which we are projecting our own hopes and needs. Very little, if any, genuine relating between two real people is going on yet at this point.
It's exciting. It feels great. Enjoy it, because it will pass.
When reality starts to set in and we get inkling that they are doing the same thing with us, something has to give. As it turns out, we are the ones who have to give. And, that's good.
Our Greatest Gurus
When we choose conscious relationships over 50, those we care about the most can be our greatest gurus .
When it comes to those closest to us, it certainly seems to the case that
We need to learn to not get angry at them for this and realize that in the grand scheme of things they are just doing their jobs. And, of course, from their point of view we are doing the same.
we choose the path of conscious relationships over 50, we commit to
taking the disappointments, hurts, and confusions that occur as we
relate to those around us as lessons for US. The more we use
those to get our own house in order and the more we are able to give,
the better lover, partner, parent, child, sibling, grandparent, friend