"My wife cheated on me now what?"
Whether it is you who is asking that question, or a family member, or a friend, or even someone you don't know at all, . . . the most honest response probably is "That depends, but whatever you do, don't act too quickly."
The male brain and nervous system, not to mention social conditioning, are set up for vigilance with respect to danger and quick response. The parts of the brain that do this job are necessarily set up to react first and think later.
Throughout most of evolutionary history, there simply was not enough time to consider every unexpected occurrence before reacting. Those who did take the hmm-let's-figure-this-out approach probably didn't live long enough to pass their genes on.
But, those situations requiring and/or rewarding hair trigger responses have become fewer and farther between over time.
For all kinds of perfectly valid reasons having your wife cheat on you can stir up some very strong, deep feelings that even the most competent, toughest men aren't prepared to deal with. You're shocked. Hormones are flooding your system. You feel like you have to do something right now. You definitely aren't thinking straight.
The best thing to do is call a time out to re-group.
Your opponent has just put a series of unanswered points on the board. Nothing seems to be working. What do you do? I guess that's up to your coach, but I hope they call a time out. The momentum is running against you and you need settle down.
Discovering infidelity is a similar situation. Doing anything right away is like trying to shoot a basket or throw a pass when you are off balance. Even the pros try to keep from having to do that.
Fortunately, in this situation you can choose to slow things down, regain your balance before acting, before saying things that will come back to haunt you, before cutting off your nose just to spite your face.
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